CLawrence's Travel Journals

CLawrence Caitlin Lawrence

 
What is the best ethnic food you ever had that you just can't find at home?

Lomo Saltado!

  • 29 years old
  • From New York, United States
  • Currently in Urubamba, Peru

The product of living a new life

some more thoughts

Reflecting

Peru Urubamba, Peru  |  Jun 22, 2011
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So as I almost approach my 1 month mark of living in Peru- I start to reflect on my goals and inner thoughts about this humanitarian adventure. I finally feel like I am part of the community. I have made strong friendships with the people of Urubamba and the families in which I work with in the surrounding communities. I think that this experience is not only what I needed, but something that I will remember for the rest of my life. I am here not only to experience a new culture and customs but to better my life and the lives of others. To break bad habits, and to conquer my fears. Fears of being alone. Fears of socializing with others who may be complete polar opposites from myself. Fears of not knowing what to say in certain situations. I have learned that there is no room for fear in life. Fear will hinder all the amazing possibilities life has to offer. There is no room to fear when you have to prove to yourself most importantly that you are who you want to be. The places you want to go in life. Literally and figureatively. We all seem to think that we know who we are, what we are and want to be. What we like, and don't like. What we will refuse to do, and feel we have to do. What road to take-left or right. My thoughts are,everything isn't clean cut. maybe there is no "perfect" decision.maybe  that nobody has to choose one path. Mayber there will be a road that comes along this will lead you down the middle? How we choose to find our path is what defines the person that we really are. To fear change, isolation, and all that goes along with it. As I continue on my life mission here in Peru- everything appears to be that this is -my middle road. For better or for worse.. however I doubt that for the worse is a possibility at this point. Nor an option that I am willing to take or accept for that fact. I finally have come to the understanding that I was meant to serve others. Serve who need what others don't want to give. And if they do, they do not want to step out of there comfort zone and attempt the most impossible head on. I now know that the struggles I've personally had  throughout the years were all a part of my purpose here. They were a test. A test to strengthen me for my full purpose in life. Although there are many aspects about this trip that were initially about myself- there are so many more aspects to it now. As i battle with my mind over missing my family and friends- I realize the truth of this feeling. Its is more about grattitude and appreciation rather then longing for the place i feel the most at ease. For how can we fill our destiny if we don't learn these important values? To learn how important it is to treasure what you have and any situation could be much worse. Or perhaps that terminology isn't one hundred percent accurate. For the land that I have come to admire and am now completely in love with- proves that statement very wrong. For the people of Peru who have so little, and work so hard, they have so much. They always have a smile on. It make you wonder, How? The reasoning? For when you friends fail, your family always prevails as the constant rock in your life. Family will always be there to assure you that there will be a brighter day and no matter what situation presents itself- there love for you will always be enough. I am about 6,000 miles away from home- and yet I find myself accepted into my homestay family with open arms. This is truely something to worship in itself. I've only know Iban, Sonya, and Beckita for near a month. The family looks to me for as much guidance as I look from them. Working now has a different meaning. It doesn't mean making money to pay your bills. "working" means being capable to live happily- to take care of those who you love, and who love you in return. Althought Sonya and Iban are making an income from my Proworld fee- I seem to always forget about it. Sonya spend most of her day cleaning and cooking for us. Between working two jobs- and taking care of a 1 year old baby. But who says that with every bowl of soup that is served she has to spice with love and care? This is something that money can not buy. This is something I am bound to figure out over time. Or at least i hope. As the honeymoon stage of my trip is far gone I know that now is the time when I will learn the most about all that comes along with Peru and the way of life. Life is not all about fun and games, that much I already know. It's about loving all people in every corner of the earth. Those who will never be able to better there lives without the guidance of others. Even in a small third world country- who is trying to improve there quality of life. Even if it means that one family we be able to live comfortably in there home. Be able to breath in the air stress free- eliminating the thoughts of will I be able to breath the next day? The size of love and help doesn't matter. What matters is- letting them know that others do care and respect there way of life. Sometimes you have to do things that you really have no desire to do. A perect example of this for instance is my beautiful guided tour to the town of Ollayntambo to visit the ancient Incan ruins. as we continued to look and awe at the beautiful landscape- we were informed that we were about to continue- which meant to climb all the way to the tipy top of the ruins. I thought to myself- why? Isn't it enough to view it from the ground from where we comfortably are? Not wanting to deny ths oppurtunity of something much bigger then my being I climed step by step. My legs weak at the knees. Out of breath and feeling out of shape- I continued until I reached the top apon where sat an an ancient inca temple. One that could not be seen by the eye comfortably on the ground. That meant something grand. maybe it was a metaphor for how life is. Nothing appears to be as it seems- and you will never understand everything without struggle, courage, and determination. I think for now that I have done enough preaching. I will continue this blog at a later point. I hope whoever finds this journal enjoys what they have read.

Until later

hasta Luego

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  • User Profile Photo
    Mom wrote: Wed Jun 22, 2011
    Hey Cait,
    You continue to amaze me!!!! I loved this blog. You are being so strong! I am so happy you are experiencing a new culture and seeing things from a different perspective than before. What a life experience. Keep the postings coming we really enjoy hearing from you. We miss having you back home, can't wait to see and hug you again! Love you !! We are so proud of you!!!!!!!! You are one courageous girl! Don't forget to take a lot of pictures so you can share your adventure with everyone back home.
    xo xo, Love , Mom
  • User Profile Photo
    Adam wrote: Wed Jun 22, 2011
    Absolutely Amazing Caitlin. You are an incredible writer who can really express you thoughts and feelings so well. You've grown and learned so much during you time there. I've never been more proud of anyone in my entire life.

    I Love you so much.
  • Reflecting

    June 22, 2011
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